


As the day

by Dalankar



Category: MBLAQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 02:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalankar/pseuds/Dalankar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyung, why don't you like me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	As the day

**Author's Note:**

> Drabble.

“Hyung, why don't you like me?”

 

Joon looks over at Thunder in surprise. This is not the conversation he would have expected. But then he wasn't expecting Thunder to say anything. They usually don't say much to each other when alone. Unless one of the others were there acting as a conduit between them.

 

Thunder is looking at him now, face serious and maybe just a little sad. But then Joon can never tell with Thunder. Never knows what he's thinking because he wears that mask so well, maybe better than anyone else in the group.

 

“Sanghyun… “ he tries. He doesn't really know how to answer the question. Hadn't realised that it was even a plausible question. That Thunder would wonder at the distance between them. Joon had never meant it, to create that distance. To not pay attention. And sometimes to not care. Joon likes comfort. Likes things to not change and rarely takes to new things easily. And Thunder is unlike anyone else Joon knows. He isn't like Mir, who is clingy and needy and loud and lovely. Not like Seungho hyung, who looks after Joon like he is his own brother. Or GO hyung who plays with Joon and laughs at him and takes care of him. Thunder is quiet, still to the point of frustration and sometimes Joon wants to shake him, wants to pull his hair or yell at him just to see if Thunder would actually react. And sometimes Joon is scared of him. Because sometimes Thunder sees him better than anyone else, sees through him, sees into him. Sees him so clearly that Joon wants to run and hide, away from those gentle eyes that follow him across the room. It's not that Joon doesn't like Thunder. It's just that Joon doesn't know how. Doesn't know how to like someone who sees all his flaws.

 

“I'm sorry if I did something to upset you or make you angry,” Thunder says softly, eyes on Joon's hand gripping the edge of the couch. Joon watches as Thunder reaches out until his hand is beside Joon's so if either of them extends their fingers they would touch.

“I like you hyung. I really like you so…” Thunder looks up and Joon sees that he's nervous when he drops his gaze almost immediately. Joon stays quiet for so long that Thunder starts to get up. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-“

And Joon reaches out and grips Thunder's wrist, fingers tight around the bones and the warm skin.

“I'm sorry, Sanghyun-“he starts and Thunder tenses, ready to pull his hand away from Joon's grip. Joon stands up, circles around Thunder until he's facing him. Thunder doesn't look up.

“You see me, don't you? You probably know me better than anyone maybe.” Joon is used to people watching him all the time. And Thunder's eyes follow him more often than not. Thunder stays quiet but Joon sees the blush spreading across his cheeks, over that impossibly pale skin.

“How can you still like me when you see me so clearly?”

Joon knows he is not perfect. But he hates others knowing that. The other three members of the band indulge him most of the time but he knows that Thunder would not. Thunder would pick out all of his weak points and call him on them.

 

Thunder's head snaps up, clearly not expecting his confession. Joon knows he's not perfect. And most of the time he hates himself for it. He drops Thunder's hand and steps back.

“I'm not worth the trouble, Sanghyun.”

 

He doesn't expect Thunder to reach out for him, doesn't expect to be pulled so close that he can feel Thunder's heart beat against his chest and smell the scent of his mango scented shampoo clinging to the edges of his dark hair. But Thunder does and Joon stays still in the circle of those long arms before relaxing into the embrace.

 

“I do see you,” Thunder says low voice soft in Joon's ear. “Why do you think I like you?”

 

Joon feels his breath hitch and his fingers finally find purchase on Sanghyun's shoulders. Joon is not perfect. And maybe, he thinks, for the first time in his life, maybe that's alright.

 

***


End file.
